Sunday, July 10, 2011

Why, I Love my community.

After doing ten years in prison. After using drugs on and off for the last 8 years. after working as a human service worker for 10 years,in every other field. Substance abuse counseling, nurses aide, personal assistant and just working. I came to the conclusion that my choice to do nothing is not good at all. Their has always been someone on this road telling me to do better:Get your life together, Kevin. Some said it loud without knowing me at all. My grandmother put time in with me. The program I went into in 1999 did more than there share helping me understand my addiction. The senior counselor there, that wonderful Spanish man Mr.Perez: he was the father I never had. He said' Kevin becoming a counselor wont save you from your addiction. You will have to save yourself.
I heard that on a deep level and it became a place I couldn't get around.
Recently, my sister was killed saving my nephews life( wake up call). First I was crying for her day after day. My crying became sobbing and I realized that I was crying for her, I was crying for me. I had become my worst image of myself back to drinking and walking the streets acting out my best ignorance.The women I was living with had faith in me and I couldn't believe how much love she had for me. She would pray for me while I sleep and took me to church with her. Praying with me hour after hour. What else did I need to convince me that its my turn to give back. Stop being so selfish, share, give more than you take. Stop looking for a rose garden. Stop asking for things you didn't work for. Wasn't it Malcolm X that said" you are either a part of the solution or part of the problem. Today, I am one man standing up. To be a helper and not a sorry son of ignorance. Its not because my demons are after me its because I'm sick and tired of my own weak voice. I went though all this stuff to miss the point, no, I am a strong man and this means I must serve my family and my community. The chains of violence have taken the best part of me, but I'm not going to give up so easy. I have my health and strength and I'm giving back with every breath I take. I have loss family and friends to this thing called ignorance. I have taken advantage of those that love me by not considering them.I will leave something behind for someone else to carry on if not only a few works of encouragement.